…and who am I now?

The wheel turns and Beltane is done, gone in three days of super-moon, storms …we hurtle toward Litha, Summer Solstice, our landscape as green as that of my childhood lands. November, and we have seen little sunshine and many misty days have followed months of torrential rainstorms and flooding across Victoria that has felled great trees. We even had couple of frosty, two-degree mornings!

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I feel as though the hemispheres have reversed. My UK friends report, their winter to be mild and late summer flowers still bloomed in mid-autumn. Indian-summer? No …of course there’s no climate change.

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So, who am I now, since last I posted?

Inside, I am again, changed, and the more those inner change occurs the closer I move to the connection I have with, both my land in Australia, and my land of origin, until I straddle the continents in my dreams. And my dreams are rich with animal symbology, plants, birds and disturbed weather patterns. I’m almost to overload, especially as the next book of tales is under way and these visions, although feeding the creative process, are exhausting and exhilarating, in one. Add to this the loss of three friends as the chaos of people choosing to stay or go, accelerates, just as the battle for everyone’s right to clear, clean water, clean food and untainted seeds to plant, becomes all-important. Perhaps those basic needs will be the final battle predicted …when all else fails and we wake to the realisation, we cannot eat computers or drink mobile phones …a roof over the head is everyone’s right and people are risking their lives, in this moment, as I write.

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Where are we in our hearts, when we can stand to watch at a distance, children, women and men be cruelly, brutally treated in their bid for justice in basic needs. How do we overcome that distance across our planet …to reach out, to help. We may feel it’s impossible and behave thus, adding our own, helpless grief to their situation of hopelessness …perhaps, instead, we might be grateful for everything chosen in our life the good, bad and indifferent …you – we, have chosen it all, at some ill-remembered time …hidden in a forgotten, misguided choice that altered our direction …perhaps led astray by the Gods of misrule.

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My home is humble; a converted 100 year old barn …my writing nook a small corner, but grand for the one in the rickety tent, somewhere in a refugee camp. They may not feel grateful for being alive if their closest family, friends and familiar homeland, is gone. They may curse the Gods, who spared them but took their kin, and yet, even within that stark truth and grief, there will be, ultimately, a small glimmer of gratitude, they live …for that is our nature. Most would rather live than die, because at least the truth is known of this place, while even with my own, intuitive gifts, death is an unknown. No one can truthfully say, they know.

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Nature gives us everything we need …we should not have to fight for it, for it is already ours. Our blood, bones, skin …a product of this planet, whilst governed by a spirit, drawn to experience everything it can and to embody all it is …and if we feel we lack, then we are not truly connected. If we whittle it down to bare bones, we need only shelter, food, water, loving relationships and a space for our creative expressions to grow, because again,the more we connect to Her, (to Gaia if you need a name for the unknowable) …so too, does the need to express. To let nothing be hidden in our authenticity. We don’t have to blurt our pain or our need to defend ourselves to the world …but in expressing those needs and emotions in a creative way, the pain of “not knowing” falls away and suddenly, there is no need to know anything, for the sake of knowing …we become …beings, being.

My body
a vessel
created to hold my song
For right or wrong
I cannot judge its meaning
If I try
perhaps tomorrow die
within each note
…there are my truths still gleaming

My song
a whispered note
A mix of joy and sorrow
Fear of change, may bring
the lessening of joy, for the coming morrow
For when I cling
to life or any other thing
I only bring
…the moment of its ending closer

My notes
which bound me to my task
I ask
what point, the searching
Each word
each breath vibrates the web
to encrypt
…my soul’s bright urging

Body, mind and Spirit
A tapestry of life
spun off in rhythmic song
A chord, a note, a sound
I’m bound to sing
in truth
…no note sung wrong

I vibrate
in colour
sound and rhythm growing
When sung
each note is spun
to shine
…awakening, my deepest knowing

So, life moves through me and yes, I am changed by circumstances, by a chance meeting – eyes connecting,  a few words, heard in the produce store, a vision, a feather falling to earth, a particularly strange, bird call, a cloud, a dream of a great White Stag or playing as an Otter in a mill-pond and waking, with a different song on my lips, I change again.

Hear the winds calling a sultry refrain
He’s still out and about in the woods, post Beltane
He’s there, in the rustling of fresh, fragrant leaves
He sends small reminders that tug at your sleeves
He says…
I am the essence that lives …all unseen
I am the memory of all that is green
Take up the mantle of earth’s greening time
Smell my wild fragrance like fresh summer wine
Come to your circle in Hawthorn arrayed
I’ll meet you in the Greenwood
…where my music is made

She is heard in the cry of a newly birthed child
Her song is the call of a fox, in the wild
Untamed and unfettered she walks moonlit fields
where love is complete and in passion she yields
to the love of her partner
and her children, wild and free
All that’s done in her name is not judged
She lets it be
For when she loves, its unconditional
She knows the frailty of all that’s made
So dance with her in the Greenwood
…in silver moonlight arrayed

She’s there with her twin, her partner
as nature blossoms anew
In the stillness of Moonlight
their footprints seen, in glistening dew
on grass that ripples with the weight of rain
and in the soft scents of spring
that ease human pain
When you sorrow, when you fear
the unknown, becomes clear
When you worship in sun and moonlight
dance in circle
…in grove and glade
they will meet you in the Greenwood
…where their music is made

Life moves through me; the planet – a live being, offers me knowledge of events before they occur …earthquake, tidal waves and floods, storms that have such power. I am exhilarated rather than afraid. Why do I have this ability? I have wondered all my life …but in those moments of awareness I change …deepening my connection in the journey toward oneness with all that gives us life.

Be blessed …Penny

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